


Land Among the Stars

by CanisRose



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, But idk who said it first, F/F, F/M, Hints of Wolfstar really early, Hogwarts First Year, How Do I Tag, I kinda stole the pencil idea, Ik theyre 11 leave me alone, Little Bit of Platonic Fluff, M/M, Marauders, More wolfstar fluff-ish, No Angst, Panic Attacks, So credit to someone, Social Anxiety, Sorry Not Sorry, Welsh Songs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-04-05 07:04:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14038809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanisRose/pseuds/CanisRose
Summary: A probably very long story of the entire 7 years of Hogwarts, from the Marauders point of view. I hope it will be good by the end, mainly Wolfstar relationship, Jily and Marlene/Dorcas. I suck at summaries.





	1. Platform 9 3/4

**Author's Note:**

> My first full story, constructive criticism welcome, seriously, tell me if it sucks and how I can improve it.  
> Canis xx

Remus Lupin looked, slightly suspiciously, at the wall through which he had just seen his father disappear. That was weird. Who just disappears through a wall? Wait, he was meant to follow. Oh God, oh God. What if it doesn't open? What if he's not a wizard, like his father? What if he was just.. normal? Okay, stop worrying, he told himself. Just run at the wall.

Three.

Two.

One.

He braced himself for impact, but it didn't come. Well, it did. Just later than he expected. Oh God, he'd crashed into someone!

"Woah, mate, are okay?"

He heard a voice through his confusion. A hand was in front of him. He took it, pulling himself to his feet. As he stood, he saw a tall boy with round glasses and messy, black hair. The boy beamed, shaking Remus' hand.

"James Potter," he said, voice loud and vibrating through Remus' aching head. He was sure he had concussion at this point. Oh, right, name.

"R-remus Lupin," he stuttered. The taller boy looked like one of the boys from back home. The thought made him shudder.

"Well, hello R-remus. You'll be sitting with us on the train then?" He smirked.

"Umm, yea, sure," he agreed. He didn't think he'd make many friends at Hogwarts, so decided to make the most of the opportunity.

He wondered then who "us" was. More friends would be good, but it would mean more secret-keeping, and that didn't sound like much fun to Remus.

~~~~~

As the clock hit 11, the Hogwarts Express pulled away from platform 9¾, starting its journey to Hogwarts. Remus found himself sitting in a small compartment, with 3 other boys. He knew one as James Potter, the boy he had run into on his way through the barrier. The others were yet to be introduced.

As Remus watched another black haired boy talk to James, he found himself staring at the new boy a little too much. He couldn't bring himself to look away.

"See something you like?" The boy asked smugly. Remus looked away, blushing.

"Just thinking," he replied, hoping it was convincing enough. The other boy just laughed and held out a hand.

"Sirius Black," he said quite proudly, although his tone dropped at his surname. Remus shook Sirius's hand, a small smile creeping to his lips.

"Remus Lupin."

"Oh I know," Sirius laughed. "My dear mother made it clear that I'm to stay away from you. We're going to be best friends."

"Hey, what about me?" James asked, feigning betrayal. Sirius punched his arm playfully.

"Oh yea, you too."

"Hey, guys, anyone got any food?" It was the first time Remus had noticed the small, blonde boy in the corner, and he jumped slightly at the sound.

"I'm Peter," the boy said quietly, in response to Remus' confused look.

"Yea, here ya go, Peter," Sirius passed the boy a small parcel of brown paper. As it was torn apart, streamers and balloons came flying out, flooding the compartment. Sirius and James fell to the floor laughing, and even Remus found it hard to stop a smile from playing in his lips.

"So you're a prankster then?" Remus laughed, turning back to Sirius.

"Yea, annoys the parents so naturally I was born with the talent."

"Not on best terms with your parents then?" Remus joked, but immediately realised his mistake. Sirius's face dropped, smile vanishing, replaced by a distant look. He knew he had hit a nerve, and made a mental note not to bring up the subject of family again.

"Anyone fancy some chess?" James offered, breaking the silence. Sirius nodded, still silent but the distant look had disappeared. Remus didn't know how to play wizard's chess, so they spent the remainder of the journey playing, over and over until Remus' winning streak reached the point that Sirius couldn't bear losing, and went to find some girls to chat up. Eleven was a little young for girls, Remus thought, but Sirius disagreed.

They changed into their school robes as the train pulled up next to a sign, saying ' _Hogsmead Station_ '.

They had arrived.


	2. The Sorting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The four reach Hogwarts with a few new faces, and the sorting.

The small rowing boats they had taken across the lake could fit more people than Remus had expected. In one tiny boat there were 8 people - James, Sirius and Peter, Remus of course, along with three girls; Lily Evans, whose flaming hair matched her personality perfectly; Marlene McKinnon, who was sweet and kind but already her love for sarcasm was shining through; and Mary MacDonald, who was muggle-born, and every little bit of magic excited her more. Also on the boat, speaking only to Lily, was a boy named Severus Snape, whose hair looked like it hadn't been washed in weeks, and who snarled at anyone unfortunate enough to look his way. He said only a few words, all to Lily and said with a sneer.  
As the boat rocked, a large shadow came into view. The castle was incredible. Tall towers at every corner, with huge windows and gargoyles on each. The tower closest to them seemed to have something on the top, sticking straight up. James saw Remus staring at the tower and started laughing.

"My dad told me about that," he said. "When he was at Hogwarts, some of the boys in his year taped a metre stick to the top of the tower, for the sole reason that it's now taller than the Ravenclaw tower. That tower's where I'm going. Gryffindor," he smiled proudly. Remus wondered where he would be. His dad had told him to avoid anyone in Slytherin. He had wondered what was so bad about them.  
Mary suddenly got very excited.

"We're here!" She exclaimed.

  
~~~~~

Hogwarts was as big as it had appeared. Huge doors opened, allowing them to enter a hallway. The ceiling was high, and from it hung a glass chandelier. A stern-looking woman stood in front of another large door, looking down on the hundred or so eleven-year-olds surrounding the four boys. James was bouncing on the spot, and Peter was making little terrified squeaks, but Sirius seemed to be calm, not fazed by the chaos surrounding him. He was smiling at Remus as the brown haired boy looked around in awe. The castle was like nothing he had Remus had ever seen before.  
The woman interrupted his thoughts.

"Welcome, First Years. My name is Professor McGonagall, and I am head of Gryffindor house," she said with a voice slightly softer than her appearance. "In just a moment you will enter through these doors and be sorted into your houses. The four houses are seated as follows, from the left: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff," she paused, "and Slytherin."  
Around half of the students were visibly uncomfortable at the mention of the last house, whilst another portion stood up straighter, looking proud.

"I'm gonna be Gryffindor, like my dad," James said proudly. "I suppose you three will be too."  
Sirius looked down.

"Nah. All my family's Slytherin, I bet I'll be put there," he said, barely audible.

"How are we sorted?" Remus asked, but jumped as the large doors swung open unaided, revealing a hall even larger than the area they were currently standing in. Inside sat four tables, decorated with red, yellow, blue and green. At the front of the hall was another long, raised table, and seated at it were around 15 adults, most likely teachers, or professors, as McGonagall had introduced herself. In the centre of them all stood a small man with a long, white beard and a pair of glasses perched on his head. He raised his arms to greet them all.

"Welcome, to our new First Years, and to the others, welcome back! I hope you all have a good year filled with fun and learning. Now, Professor McGonagall will explain the sorting ceremony."

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore," she said, adjusting her glasses. "As I call each of your names, you will sit on the stool, the hat will be placed on your head and you will be sorted.

Allard, Jessica."

A small, blonde girl pushed her way to the front of the crowd, skipped up to the stool and sat, back straight and beaming. The hat had barely touched her head when it exclaimed,

"Ravenclaw!"

Atten, Dylan, and Barwell, Max were called, before,

"Black, Sirius."

Everyone turned to look at the black haired boy. A small group on the table covered in green sat a little straighter; Remus assumed that they were his family, Slytherins.  
The hat sat there, unmoving, for at least a minute, before it said, loud and clear,

"Gryffindor!"  
Sirius's face looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The Slytherins scowled his way, and the Gryffindors cheered, arms out, drawing him to the table. Sirius was definitely smiling by now.

"Evans, Lily."

The red-haired girl walked slowly, carefully to the stool. She sat there for a while - not quite as long as Sirius had, but a while - before it finally reached a decision.

"Gryffindor!"

She skipped to join Sirius, grinning from ear to ear.  
A few names later, and,

"Lupin, Remus."

Remus' heart started pounding. He walked slowly to the stool, almost tripping on the step, as he sat cautiously on the wooden stool. The hat was placed on his head, and he jumped when he heard a voice in his ears.

"Hmm, a Lupin. I remember your father, a Ravenclaw, wasn't he?" The hat mused.

 _Please, Gryffindor, they're the only people I know,_  he thought as hard as he could, as he realised that nobody could hear the voice loud in his ears.

"Is that so? Then it better be.."

"Gryffindor!" The hat said loud for everyone to hear.

Remus didn't stop smiling, as first Peter, then James, Mary and Marlene were sorted into Gryffindor.

"Snape, Severus."

The boy reached the stool and sat. The hat dropped, and not a second passed before the hat screamed,

"Slytherin!"  
The green table didn't cheer but held out their arms for the scruffy boy.  
  
The seven of them sat and chatted, until out of nowhere, food appeared in front of them. Remus immediately started shovelling food onto his plate and into his mouth, like he hadn't eaten in weeks. There was, however, a perfectly good reason for his increased appetite. Although, he was nowhere near ready for anyone to know just yet.

"Blimey, mate, don't they feed you at home?" James laughed, watching the brown haired boy stuff his face with roast lamb and mashed potatoes.

"Nah, I'm just hungry," Remus joked, as he swallowed the last of his food, already reaching for more.

"No kidding!" Sirius chuckled.  
  
  
As they walked up a flight of stairs, the Gryffindor prefect went over some "ground rules" for the common room.

"No boys in the girls' dorms," he said. "But girls are allowed into the boys'."

"What kind of a rule is that?" Sirius almost yelled, hoping his voice would reach the older boy. "I mean, don't they trust us at all?"

"Not really, no," the prefect smiled.

They reached the top of the staircase and saw a large painting of an overweight woman. The prefect looked at the portrait, and said,

"Blibbering Humdinger."

The portrait suddenly swung open, leading them into a room lined with scarlet and gold. Two sofas and an armchair sat around a burning fire, tables scattered around, with students already studying or playing games with friends.

"Boys dorms upstairs on the right, girls to the left," the prefect said quickly before a crowd of students went rushing up to their new dormitories.

The dorms were the same dashing scarlet as the common room, and five beds stood by the wall in an almost circular shape. Nobody else joined the four boys, so they decided to use the remaining bed as a kind of mini wardrobe, as it was clear the actual one wasn't going to be used. They then tried to decide who would sleep where. While the other three were arguing, Remus walked over to the bed in the corner. He made himself comfortable, found a book from his trunk, and started to read.  
The others soon realised he was gone, so his peace didn't last very long, but they decided that the spare bed would be the other end, so nobody was separated. Remus wasn't thrilled by this idea but went along with it. Sirius plopped down onto the end of Remus' bed.

"What ya reading?" he asked.

"Mhmm," he mumbled.

"Sorry, didn't catch that," Sirius teased.

"Romeo and Juliet," Remus said, cheeks turning pink.

"Ah, true love, ended in death. The tragedy!" Sirius pretended to faint, falling across the bed. "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art tho-"

"Yea, yea, I get it. I'm a sappy git, right?" Remus smiled.

"Yup!" Sirius smirked.

"Well, if you two are done, I'm going down to the Quidditch pitch," James announced.

"Already? Come on, mate, have some fun first," Sirius exclaimed.

"Fun?" James asked. "Like what?"

"Hmm," he stroked his chin wisely. "Truth or dare?"

"No!" All three shouted at once. Truth or dare was clearly not a popular choice.

"How about a game of wizard's chess?" Remus asked. Everyone nodded.

"Great, I'm gonna beat you all," he said confidently.

And he did. With a winning streak of 27, Remus fell asleep on the floor beside his three new friends. Nobody cared that they missed the prefects' announcements downstairs. They were all exhausted, and sleep cane easily. They would worry about school in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters will get longer as I get (slightly) better at writing, so I'm sorry but I'll get there.


	3. Classes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monopoly, the Whomping Willow and Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Criticism welcome, hope you enjoy!  
> Canis x

**Thursday 2nd September**

Remus awoke with his cheek pressed against something soft and warm. So warm, in fact, that he didn't move. Not until the warm thing itself moved. Oh, Merlin, he was laying on someone's arm! He got up quickly but carefully, so as to not wake up whoever had previously been his pillow. He couldn't see much in the dark of the common room, but as he stood, the long black hair was unmistakable. He had fallen asleep on Sirius Black! Remus ran upstairs as quietly as possible, hoping to be dressed and in the library before anyone else woke up. But, of course, fate was against him.

"Remus?" James whispered into the dark. Remus sighed.

"Yea, I'm here."

"Where you going?" James asked. "It's not even six o'clock, and classes don't start til nine."

"I know that, I wanted to get a head start and go to the library," he said, hoping James was convinced. In reality, he was going to explore the castle, and maybe find some hiding places, for when he needed to get away. That was his favourite thing to do at home; sometimes it had gotten a little crowded, and very overwhelming. It was nice being alone. Nobody to judge you, nobody to listen to. Alone was Remus' favourite thing to be.

 

It might have been an hour, or two, or the whole day. Time seemed to have lost its meaning to Remus Lupin, as he sat behind a tapestry, reading _Hogwarts: A History_. But his reading was interrupted by a loud, familiar voice. Or three.

"Remus!"

"Remus?"

"REMUS!"

"Woah, mate, calm down. He'll be here somewhere."

Remus made a small noise of terror as the voices grew closer and closer, then stopped. He was about to run when the tapestry was pulled back.

"Gotcha!"

Sirius, James and Peter stood over him with triumphant grins spreading across their faces.

"Where have you been, young man?" Sirius asked, trying to feign authority, but failing miserably.

"And why would you care?" Remus snapped back.

"Because," James said, "we are your friends, whether you like it or not."

"I've only known you a day, and you don't know anything about me."

"And that brings us to the plan of action!" Sirius said excitedly.

"Yeah, but we've got to wait til lunch," James reminded him.

"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?" Remus sighed.

 

"Definitely regretting this decision," Remus muttered under his breath, as he watched Sirius and James search under their beds.

"Aha!"

James emerged from under the bed, holding a large box.

"No."

"What? Not a fan?" James laughed.

"No, not now, not ever."

Monopoly always ended badly. At home, Remus' uncle would end up storming out of the room, while Remus gleefully waved his stack of cash. He had a feeling this would end in a similar way.

But shot of puppy dog eyes and a pout from Sirius led to Remus being dragged to the floor, dealt the money and given a game piece - the top hat. Remus resigned to believing that it was just a bit of fun. Except monopoly never ends well.

 

"But you cheated!" Sirius cried, as he finished double and triple checking James' money count. James had well and truly won, but Sirius was not much of a loser.

"I demand a rematch!"

"NO!" The objections shook the room. Three hours later, Remus was bored and tired and grumpy, Peter had already nodded off, and Sirius and James would _not shut up_! Remus stood up and walked up the stairs to the dorm, barely noticed by the other boys. He took his nightclothes into the bathroom and changed, well away from the mirror. The scars on his arms were hard enough to see every day, but the ones in his chest were worse. They carried bad memories, but they were barely memories. More like someone had shown him a few pictures of a night out that he remembered nothing about.

He slid into his bed, only the second time he had actually slept in it, and tried to sleep. But his head was full of thoughts, swimming around, out of order and out of control. He couldn't think, but couldn't stop thinking.

But his almost-thoughts were once again interrupted by someone not so quietly coming into the dorm.

"Remus?"

It was Sirius. Remus froze.

"Remus? You awake?"

Remus gave in. "Yeah."

"Can I come in?" He was closer this time, but he hesitated. Remus pulled back the curtain.

"Yea, sure."

Sirius clambered onto Remus' bed, but sat on top of the covers instead of under, as Remus had offered.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked

"I just-" Sirius started to speak, but stopped. He couldn't think of the words, but eventually they came.

"This is the first time I've been away from my family. Not that I can really call then family. I'm nothing like them. They're all "mudblood" and "blood traitor", but I just can't see it that way. I don't see the world the way they do. Their idea of pureblood is marrying your cousins, and I sure as hell am not doing that. I-" But he stopped, as if he caught himself before he said something terrible.

"I'm sorry, Remus," Sirius said quickly. "I didn't mean to throw that onto you. It's just really different here to at home."

"Oh, no, I get it," Remus assured him. "I mean, my house isn't all blood crazy, but it's really different here, and I don't know if I'll get used to it."

They sat there for a minute, Remus chewing at his nails while Sirius played with the frayed edge of the bedsheets.

"Do you want to sleep here tonight?" Remus asked, his voice low and questioning.

"Yea. Yea, I'd like that," Sirius smiled a small smile.

The bed was plenty big enough for the two eleven year olds, and they soon fell asleep, side by side.

 

**Friday 3rd September**

The sun rose over the castle, sending streaks of light through gaps in the curtains and open doors. The two boys in Remus' bed woke with a start when the dorm room door slammed shut. Probably James going for a morning run. But it kicked them into gear, as they realised that yes, Sirius was in Remus' bed, and that it wasn't exactly the best thing their friends might see. Sirius got up, padded over to his own bed, then went about getting ready just as noisily as he usually would. Remus waited a few minutes, reading his book from his bedside, before getting ready himself, and going down to breakfast.

Breakfast was loud and full of tired, overexcited first years. The other students seemed to just be tired, especially the sixth and seventh years. The table was full of different breakfast items, from yogurt, to cereal, to croissants. Remus filled his plate, then another, shovelling the contents into his mouth.

"Woah, woah, you're going to choke!" Sirius took the overflowing plate from in front of Remus.

"'m 'ungry," remus mumbled through a mouthful of bagel.

“I can see that, but slow down, mate.” Sirius lowered the plate, taking a few things from it for himself.

Remus slowed down, but only a little. He was still starving, like he always was just before- well, no one needed to know about that. Ever.

“Mr Lupin.”

A stern but calm voice behind him made Remus jump. It was the same voice that had welcomed them in the hallway on their first day, the voice that had called his name for sorting. Professor McGonagall.

"May I have a word, in my office, Mr Lupin?" she asked.

“Um, yeah, okay,” Remus replied, slightly worried about being called to her office so early in the term.

 

\--------------------------------

 

McGonagall’s office was simple, with a small trophy cabinet behind her desk. Inside, dozens of trophies shone in the sunlight, which broke in through the large window to their left. A few photos stood on the desk, but to Remus’ astonishment, they were moving. People waving, animals jumping, trees swaying. Remus wondered how they worked, but his thoughts were interrupted by Professor McGonagall.

“Now, Mr Lupin,” she looked over her glasses. “I recall that you have a small- issue, which needs to be taken into consideration.”

Remus froze. In all the chaos he had almost forgotten about his problem.

“Now, regarding your lycanthropy,” Mcgonagall started, but was interrupted.

“What’s lycanthropy?” Remus queried.

“It is the proper name for your condition. More commonly known as being a werewolf.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Regarding your lycanthropy,” she continued, “in preparation for your arrival, a tree named the Whomping Willow was planted, not far from the castle. On nights of the full moon, myself and Madam Pomfrey, our healer, to whom you will shortly be introduced, will escort you to the Willow, which has a tunnel leading to a small shack off the border of Hogsmead. There, you will be perfectly safe during and after your transformations.”

But Remus was still worried.

“Will I be able to, y’know, hurt anyone? While I’m there?” He questioned, brows furrowed.

“Of course not,” McGonagall said firmly. “We have taken many precautions to ensure the safety of everyone. Now, I believe Mr Potter, Black and Pettigrew are waiting for you outside. Run along now, you don’t want to be late for lessons. Charms first, I believe?”

“Yes, professor.”

\---------------

“Boo!” a black-haired figured jumped out from around the corner, but Remus didn’t flinch.

“I don’t scare that easily, Black,” Remus rolled his eyes. “You’ll have to try harder than that.”

Sirius just laughed.

“That was just a warm-up, Lupin. You’ll be cowering under your covers by the end of the week.”

“End of the year, maybe, but I doubt it.”

Sirius smirked. “Really?”

James sighed, and Peter rolled his eyes.

“Guys, lets not attack each other, please.”

“Oh, Petey, nothing’s gonna happen. It’s just a bit of fun!”

“Nothing’s ‘just a bit of fun’ with you.”

As they reached their new Charms classroom, Remus felt his stomach knot. This was it. His first class. He was going to learn magic like his father had, and his uncle and granddad.

The door swung open, and their professor welcomed them, beaming. He introduced himself as Professor Flitwick, and handed out textbooks; piles of textbooks, which weighed down Remus’ bag. As it turned out, they didn’t actually do any magic, just the theory of a few simpler charms. This included the levitation charm, _Wingardium Leviosa_ , which Remus was especially interested in. All the things he could do with a simple charm…

His train of thought was broken once more, when he felt a tap on each shoulder. Sirius and James were both beaming, each holding half of Remus’ things.

“Come on, History of Magic now,” James said, not exactly enthusiaastically. “This should be fun.”

Their History of Magic professor was, in fact, a ghost. Remus had heard a rumour that one day, Professor Binns died, but got up and carried on teaching, leaving his body behind. Remus thought this was likely, although the professor seemed to have gotten bored of his teaching many decades ago. It barely took fifteen minutes, not long into a _very_ boring summary of the House Elf Rebellion of 1347, before over half the class was asleep, the other half barely keeping their eyes open. Remus, however, was always restless just before the full moon, and could never sleep, so decided to take notes to aid his friends.

As History came to a close, Remus nudged the others awake, and dragged them outside for break, then to their next lessons. Potions with the Slytherins wasn’t the greatest class, but Transfiguration was popular among the Gryffindors.

As lunch rolled around, they trekked down to the Great Hall, where plates were piled high with food. After they had stuffed themselves with sandwiches and trifle, they ran back to the common room. They seemed to have come back just in time, as shortly after they stumbled through the portrait, floods of students rushed through the door. Apparently, it was to get the better seats in the common room, but most of the good ones had already been taken up but two black haired boys who seemed to stretch out _way_ more than they needed to. Sirius had taken over an entire sofa, his feet resting on the arm of another, while James was spread across two armchairs. Remus shoved James’ legs off one of the chairs, dropping down and taking out a book. It was only half way through the day, and already he had a content feeling creeping into his mind.

Remus was happy.


	4. Full Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shrieking Shack, Potions and Lily Evans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it would be great if you could review this fic, as in what's good, bad or could be better. I'm a bit paranoid that it's not as good as it could be, as this is my very first fic. Thanks :)  
> Canis x

The day before the full moon was always strenuous. Remus felt ill, tired, awake and restless all at once, and he despised it. He wanted to sleep, but his insomnia wouldn't let him - he felt ill but couldn't rest. Getting to the hospital wing was difficult, as was avoiding unwanted questions. Sirius and James asked so many questions that, in the end, Remus simply walked out of the room. The noise was making his head hurt.

Madam Pomfrey was a lovely woman, kind and caring, but didn't ask questions. When Remus had been introduced to her the night before, she smiled the whole way through, making sure that Remus knew every step of the process, and everything which would be done afterwards. Healing potions and spells cleared up any wounds, but the scars stayed. They were magic wounds, she said, so they would never truly disappear.

As the day came to a close, Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey led Remus out to the Whomping Willow. It was a large tree, with branches that waved and whipped around, warding off anything that came near it. To Remus' astonishment, when he turned to ask McGonagall how on earth they were meant to get past it, in her place stood a small tabby cat, with rings around its eyes. The cat darted forward, dodging branches and twigs until it reached the trunk. There, it pressed a small knot in the root with its paw, and the tree froze. Madam Pomfrey led the way, climbing into a small tunnel in the ground by the trunk. They walked for a while until they arrived in a small room. It was dark and damp, smelling of decay, and the boarded-up windows allowed entrance to only a slither of light. A small bed stood at one end, a set of stairs at the other. McGonagall broke the silence.

"This is where you shall stay, to complete your transformation. Nothing can get in or out, don't you worry."

Remus sat on the end of the bed, the springs creaking under his weight. He was a small boy, very skinny, but quite heavy.

"There's a cupboard over there," Madam Pomfrey pointed to the corner of the room. " You may want to undress when we have left, so as to not rip your clothes."

Remus just sighed.

"I know it's difficult," McGonagall said calmly. "But we've done as much as possible to make this less stressful. We'll come to collect you at sunrise, and you can spend the morning, or the whole day if you don't feel up to it, in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey will take care of any injuries."

With that they left, leaving Remus alone to transform into a beast.

 

Remus woke in a haze, head pounding, limbs aching. His shoulder felt dislocated, and there was a new gash, all the way from his left shoulder to his right hip. He flinched when he moved, a sharp pain searing through his chest.  _ Broken rib _ , he thought in dismay. A knock on the door told him that Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall had arrived to take him back to the castle.

Madam Pomfrey fixed his ribs and relocated his shoulder in seconds, but the gash took a little longer to heal. For a few minutes there was a scab over his torso, and when it healed a long white line took its place. He spent the day in the hospital wing, mainly sleeping, occasionally reading just to be scolded by Madam Pomfrey.

"You'll strain your eyes," she said sternly, but with a kind undertone. "You need rest."

 

"Do you think we should go and see him?"

The three boys had been worrying over Remus' hospital visit all day. They had even taken notes for him in classes, knowing that he wouldn't like to miss out on anything.

"Give it another half hour, " James reassured Peter. "He'll be back tonight, I bet."

It was strange without Remus, even if they had only known each other for five days. He was the one to make a sarcastic comment on something completely irrelevant, or make a joke only they could hear, then sit innocently while the others were scolded for disrupting the class. He was the one to fill them in when they hadnt been paying attention, or to make them listen. Five days had done a lot to the four boys, but there was no denying that it wasn’t the same without Remus.

 

The next day he was back, albeit a little out of it. He made the same comments, but afterwards would stare out of the window, his eyes clouded over. Once, they even caught him falling asleep in Transfiguration, but McGonagall pretended not to notice. They assumed that she though he deserved it; after all, if Remus was falling asleep in class, there had to be something wrong.

“Hey, James?” Sirius whispered one night, when he was sure the others were asleep. “What d’you think is up with Remus?” He was letting his curiosity get the better of him, but he wasn’t about to stop.

“Sirius, he told us earlier, it was just a cold.” James was starting to get a bit fed up of all the interrogations. How was he meant to know anything more than Sirius did?

“Fine.”

Something gave James the impression that this was not the end of it.

 

Potions class was.. Interesting. Professor Slughorn was head of Slytherin house, and clearly belonged there. He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he taught pretty well from the textbook. Their first potion, the Wideye potion was easy enough to make, although it had to be left for 23 hours half way through. Remus was paired with the bubbly red-haired girl named Lily Evans, who they had shared a boat with crossing the lake. She was muggleborn, and extremely over-excited, but not bad at potions. They dropped snake fangs into their pewter cauldron, followed by something called Standard Ingredient. They got through it quite easily, until the wand-waving bit. The first few tries it set fire, but after a while, Lily managed to get it right. Remus was relieved to see that James and Sirius were still trying, and Peter was too distracted by his new partner, Hannah Lowe, to concentrate on the potion. When they finally got to the point at which they had nothing to do but wait, Slughorn put a timing charm over the potion and dismissed them.

“I love potions,” Lily said excitedly. “I love any type of magic really. It just so.. Magical!”

“I’ve only seen a few household charms,” Remus said, not quite making eye contact. Social anxiety was a pain sometimes.

They reached the portrait, Lily stated the password and they stepped through the hole in the wall. The common room was empty, save for a few fifth years arguing over Merlin knows what. The others arrived shortly, Peter’s face a little more…   _ ashy   _ than it had been. They were joined by three more girls, who introduced themselves as Mary MacDonald, Dorcas Meadowes and Marlene McKinnon. They sat on the few chairs that weren’t taken over by the boys, and chatted to Lily whilst pointedly ignoring the others. They did bring Remus into the conversation, but he shook them off and returned to his book. That is, until he was interrupted by two very heavy boys sitting on him.

“Remuuuuussss!”

“We’re borrreedddd!”

Those boys and their puppy dog eyes.

“I’ve got a frisbee?” Remus offered, slightly wary of the possible outcomes of this idea.

“A fanged frisbee?” James looked excited.

Remus shook his head. “Nah, just a normal one.”

“What does a normal one do?” It occured to Remus that James and Sirius had never actually played frisbee, so decided to take the risk and offer,

“Do you wanna go and play?”

Bad idea.

 

“Ow!”

“Stop complaining.”

“But it hurts!”

“You're the one who can't catch!”

“Yea, what kind of chaser will you be if you can't even catch a frisbee?”

“Oh shut up, James.”

The gash across Sirius' cheekbone was small, but, being the drama queen he was, Sirius was whining. A lot. The murtlap essence only stung a little, and the wound had already gone from a gash to a scab in a matter of seconds and was already fading.

“Remus?” James said, so quietly Remus wasn't sure he'd said anything. “You know your potions partner…” he trailed off a bit, waiting for Remus to fill in the gaps.

“You mean Lily Evans?”

“Yea, her. She's.. I mean.. I think she's kinda cute, don't you?” James said, a nervous edge to his voice.

“She's alright, I suppose.” Remus wondered where the conversation was going.

“I like her. I think I fancy her.”

“James, you're eleven.”

“I know, but…” he trailed off again.

“And you're telling me this because…?”

“Well, we're mates, aren't we? And mates tell each other stuff.”

“Oh,” was all Remus could manage. “Okay then.”

Silence dropped over them, until Sirius broke it with another complaint.

“Remus, it stings!”

“Oh, forget it, it'll be healed by the morning,” Remus started packing away the small first aid kid (with a few added potions) that his mum had made him bring. He clambered towards his bed and slumped down, fully clothed, and started to drift off.

“Night guys,” he heard from James’ bed.

“Night,” Remus mumbled, before falling into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Lily's not that excitable, I may have gotten a bit carried away. This one's a bit shorter, but the next one will be uploaded in the next few days.


	5. Cats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cats, Potions and Dragon's Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing to add really. Hope you enjoy!  
> Canis x

The next few days went on as normal. The weekend gave the boys plenty of time to explore the castle, finding new crevices and corners to hide in. Remus discovered James and Sirius’ flair for pranks after they set off some dung bombs on the fourth floor, which they had been sent by James’ cousins. When Monday came round, they could barely get out of bed and would have overslept if not for James’ unnatural habit of getting up at the crack of dawn to go for a morning run.

"Has anyone seen my cloak?" Sirius called groggily from his bed.

"Well I’ve got a spare one, maybe it’s yours," Peter offered. He was always the most awake in the mornings, and frequently irritated the others, who definitely weren’t morning people.

When finally everyone had the right items of clothing, they followed the crowd of hungry students down to the Great Hall for breakfast. The same selection appeared, but this time, Remus ate slowly, not taken over by the hunger he had around the full moon. Peter wasn’t eating much, but, strangely, was putting a few handfuls of ham into his satchel. James seemed to have noticed as well.

"Pete, what are you doing?"

"I’m not hungry, so I thought I’d save these for later," he said nervously, gaining him three unconvinced looks.

"No, really, what’s up?"

"I- I’ll tell you later."

 

Herbology led them to the greenhouses by the lake. They were warm in the cold September air, full of all sorts of plants and shrubs. Strangely, in their first lesson, they were studying a charm - the fire-making charm.

“ _ Incendio!”  _ Sirius said frustratedly.

“Well it’s not going to work if you do that,” Remus mocked.

“If you’re so clever why don’t you do it?” Sirius said, a little fed up.

“Incendio,” Remus said calmly, smirking as his piece of parchment caught alight. Sirius just huffed, while James was almost sent out for laughing so much. Peter was the only one who couldn’t produce the charm at the end of class, but managed to set fire to his hair on the way back to the common room.

 

Potions was slightly better than the last lesson. As it turned out, everyone had forgotten about their wideye potions, and a few cauldrons had holes melted through the bottom. Luckily, Lily and Remus’ potion had just turned a strange shade of yellow and was bubbling a little. James and Sirius’, however, had a small fire going in the middle of their cauldron, and the thick orange substance had some very suspicious green bits floating around. All of the potions were put into one large cauldron together at the back of the room, which, in hindsight, wasn’t the best idea. A girl named Emily had managed to mess up her potion so much that it caused the others to bubble over and burn a hole in the floor. Slughorn quickly vanished the mess and sent the students back to their desks. The rest of the lesson was spent on theory. They studied the 12 uses of dragon’s blood, which spiked a discussion which didn’t end until Slughorn’s next class appeared in the doorway.

 

Defence Against the Dark Arts was the class Remus was least looking forward to. He had read through the textbook already and discovered that they were to study werewolves later in the year. He hoped that his lycanthropy would remain a secret; he didn’t need all of the hatred he was sure to receive. Luckily, they were studying the Knockback jinx for the first few lessons, which Remus had already been practising. The lesson ended in James and Sirius clutching their broken noses, after their jinxes collided, while Remus and Peter led them to the hospital wing.

“It’s your fault my beautiful face is ruined!”

“Shut up James, it’s not that bad.”

“Easy for you to say, you’ll have the girls waiting on your hand and foot!”

“No I- Yea I will, I’m so amazing.”

Madam Pomfrey fixed their noses in seconds and sent them to lunch.

Lunch felt… different. Like something was off. Remus looked around, wondering what was wrong until he noticed that Peter had disappeared. It wasn’t like him to miss lunch, so Remus stood up, telling the others that he was going back to the dorm, and went to look for Peter. After searching the castle everywhere he could think of, he went out to the courtyard. He looked all around, though as he turned to leave, he spotted a small hut hidden behind a pillar. He knocked on the door.

“Peter?”

The door opened to reveal a room much too big to fit inside the small hut. At the end was a cardboard box, surrounded by blankets.

“What’s in there?” Remus asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

“It’s- come and look.”

To Remus’ surprise, as Peter led him to the box, he saw a small head peek over the edge, followed by another, and another.

“Are they... Kittens?” Remus gasped.

There were four altogether - one black, two black and white, and one tabby, the smallest of them all.

“I found them in here on Saturday,” Peter said sadly. “I couldn’t find their mum anywhere, but I thought I would leave them to see if she came back, but she didn’t. They were freezing and hungry, so I brought them blankets and food.”

Remus was speechless. He just stared at the tiny creatures, huddled in the box. They couldn’t have been more than a few weeks old, just old enough to be weaned.

“I even named them!” Peter said excitedly. “Koda is the one with the spot on her nose, Jet has the green eyes and Echo has the blue with the bit of brown on his belly. I haven’t named the tabby one yet, but she’s so sweet.”

He thought for a few seconds.

“My nana named her cats after stuff in space,” Peter said. “There was a little tabby one called Galaxy, and Star. And little Nova, she was my favourite.”

Remus remembered something his mum had taught him when he was little.

“How about Elara? It’s one of Jupiter’s moons.”

“Yea, that suits her, doesn’t it?”

They stayed there for a moment, watching the kittens play.

“Do you want to take them back to the dorm?” Remus asked.

“Would- would that be alright?” Peter sounded worried.

“Sure, I bet James and Sirius will love them.”

So Remus carried the box up to the dorm, being the stronger one; it was a benefit that came from being a werewolf. When they showed the other two, they were immediately smitten. They sat on James’ bed, watching them play. Remus found a ball of string in a drawer (which nobody claimed) and set them playing with it. Sirius seemed to have eyes for Jet, watching him roll around on the bed, while James seemed happy letting Koda chew on his finger. Remus saw Elara chewing on the bedspread, but held back his smile. Unfortunately, he wasn’t subtle enough.

“You like her, Remus? You can keep her if you want,” Peter offered. Remus leaned over and picked Elara up, almost taking the bedsheets with her. He held her on his lap and she climbed up his chest and onto his shoulder, tugging at his hair with her teeth.

“She likes you,” James smiled. “Hey, Peter, if Remus gets to keep Elara, can I keep this one?”

“That’s Koda, and yeah, sure,” Peter laughed. “You seem happy with Jet there, Sirius.”

“He’s mine now,” Sirius said defensively, holding the little kitten to his chest.

They played with the kittens until lunch was over, then they put them in a bigger box which they found behind the door. It had higher sides, so there was no chance of any escaping kittens. They filled it with the blankets, some paper, and a few pieces of ham, and left.

Remus worried about the kittens all day. What if the mother went back to find her kittens gone? What if they were gone when they got back? James saw him tensing and put a hand on his shoulder.

“They’ll be fine, mate, don’t worry so much,” he said with a smile.

All through Transfiguration and Charms he was restless, awaiting the time he could play with his Elara. When the lesson finally ended Remus gathered his things quickly, racing up the stairs, through the portrait and into the dorm. He let out a sigh of relief when four little heads popped up over the edge of the box. He lifted Elara out and sat her on his shoulder. He carried her down the stairs and into the common room, where the others were just climbing through the portrait. They smiled when they saw Remus with the little kitten on his shoulder. They raced upstairs to retrieve their own kittens, and came down with Jet on Sirius’ head, playing with his hair, Koda in James’ arms, clawing at his shirt, and Echo on Peter’s shoulder, chewing at his ear.

“They’re little vampires!” Peter exclaimed as Echo actually drew blood from his ear. “Here, hold him, I need to get a tissue for this.”

“No need.  _ Episkey _ ,” Remus said, followed by, “ _ Tergeo _ .” The cut was instantly healed.

“Wow, thanks!” Peter said.

“How’d you learn that?” Sirius asked.

“Oh, I was always getting cuts and bruises at home, and it’s a pretty easy one to copy,” Remus shrugged. It wasn’t exactly  _ lying _ , it just wasn’t the full truth.

As the day drew to a close, they were still playing with the kittens, until Peter piped up.

“Guys.”

“Hmm?”

“We missed dinner.”

“Wait, what?”

They checked the clock on the wall, and sure enough, it was 6:30, an hour and a half past dinner.

“What’re we gonna eat?”

“I’m hungryyyyy!” Sirius whined.

Remus thought for a moment, then remembered something from his exploration of the castle.

“Well, I know where the kitchen is. And these elf things in there are pretty cool,” he suggested.

“They would be house elves, and how come you didn’t mention this before?” James asked.

“Didn’t come up,” Remus shrugged. They got up, taking care not to drop the kittens, and Remus led them down to where he had found the doorway to the kitchens. But all they found was a blank wall.

“How do we get in?” Peter asked.

“Tickled the pear on that painting,” Remus told him, and as he did so, the wall melted away leaving an archway. As they ducked through it, the scent of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding hit their noses, along with the beginning of tomorrow’s breakfast. A creature scurried up to them, carrying a platter of croissants.

“Good evening, young masters! Colpey at your service. Is you needing some food?”

“Yea, we missed dinner,” Sirius started before he was cut off by a loud gasp.

“You- you is a Black!” Copley stuttered. “Copley is sorry, Sir. He did not recognise young master Black.” Copley stepped back, bowing.

“Please, don’t worry about it, I’m not like the rest of them,” Sirius assured him. “We just need something to eat, please.”

As Colpey ran to gather a platter of food, Remus whispered to Sirius, “What was up with that?”

“My family are basically Royals in the wizarding world, so I get the world handed to me on a silver platter,” Sirius responded, but didn’t look very pleased with himself. Before Remus had a chance to say anything else, Colpey returned, holding two plates; one full of every type of bread and cheese imaginable, the other piled high with what Remus assumed was the remains of dinner.

“Please, young masters, call Colpey or Geeley if you is needing anything else!” Copley squeaked, retreating back into the kitchens.

They carried the plates back to the dormitory, with the kittens still on their shoulders or heads, and quickly all of the food was gone. They chatted for a while, about lessons and magic, but when they got to the topic of home, Remus noticed Sirius slip away from the group. The others were too busy comparing chocolate frog cards to notice, so he followed after Sirius. Remus found him sitting outside, on a bit of roof which jutted out over a window. It was very high, and they could easily slip, so Remus tried to coax Sirius back inside, but Sirius wasn’t having it. So they sat there for a while, gazing up at the clear night sky.

“Look,” Sirius said, breaking the silence and pointing up at the sky. “That’s me. Sirius, the Dog Star.”

Remus followed his finger to where one star was shining brighter than the others.

“Are you the only one named after a star?” Remus asked, curious.

“Nah, we’re all named after some type of space thing. Regulus is a star, the brightest one in the Leo constellation. My dad’s Orion, like Orion’s Belt. Then there’s Narcissa and Bellatrix, they’re stars, and my cousin Andromeda is named after a whole galaxy. She’s the only decent one of the lot, sends me muggle stuff sometimes. She married a muggle, and they disowned her, but she’s the best. Doesn’t have a bad bone in her body - surprising, the way she was brought up.”

Remus thought about the way Sirius spoke - enunciating every word and syllable clearly - and realised that he must have been brought up the same way, and he didn’t act at all the way Remus had heard his family did.

They stayed there for a little while longer, until Remus finally managed to coax Sirius back inside, where he convinced the others to go to bed. He changed into his nightclothes and climbed into bed. As he drifted off, he dreamt of stars and house elves and chocolate frogs.

 

\---------------

The next day, lessons went as they had the day before. Defence Against the Dark Arts was a repeat the previous lesson, but this time no injuries were gained. Well, apart from a damaged ego when James was sent flying into the back wall, and Sirius, Remus and Peter were rolling around laughing for a good five minutes. Herbology had them practising the Fire-Making spell again, ending in just a few singed hair ends and a slightly melted glass pane. James was having fun setting fire to the pieces of parchment Sirius was throwing at him, which resulted in Sirius’ robes on fire and half the class squealing and the other half laughing.

 

As they entered the dorm room at break, they were greeted with an unusual sight. As Remus opened the door, a little tabby kitten wrapped itself around his feet.

“How did she get out?” Peter asked, slightly alarmed.

“She jumped, I guess,” James said, walking over to the box and picking up Koda, putting her on his shoulder.

“We need to keep the windows closed then, if they’re jumping out,” Sirius said, going to close the window nearest to the box first. They played for a little while, making sure to keep all of the kittens in sight. It was when Jet knocked over the box that Sirius had an idea.

“We should make them a proper house!” he said excitedly, hitting his head on the wardrobe door as he jumped up.

“How the hell are we meant to do that?” James asked, easing Koda’s claws from his shirt.

“Cardboard, wood, whatever we can get,” Sirius said, still beaming. “I just think these little kitties deserve more than just a cardboard box.”

It didn’t take much more convincing, and soon they were scouring the castle for anything they could use to make the best cat house Hogwarts had ever seen.


	6. Exploring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Locked out, Baskets and Honeydukes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild swearing in this chapter, but if you're against that I suggest you stop reading now because there will be a /lot/ more in future.  
> Canis x

“What the  _ hell  _ is that?” Remus exclaimed. He had been scavenging for more wood around the edge of the Forbidden Forest, leaving Sirius and James to start on the construction of the cat house, and came back half an hour later to an ungodly sight. In the corner of the dorm was a small… he didn't know exactly how to describe it. It was almost a shed, but way too messy. Twigs and leaves stuck out everywhere, and they had used a bottle of PVA glue they had most likely found in Remus’ suitcase. The structure was broken and falling apart, but the black-haired boys were grinning proudly.

“Like it?” James asked.

“It’s great, but I think some improvements are needed,” Remus said, taking out his wand. He cast a few spells he had been researching the previous night, and the twigs started to weave themselves into an amazing wicker basket with a little canopy over it. He cast a permanent sticking charm over it, and stood back to admire his handiwork.

Sirius’ jaw dropped. “Where the hell did you learn all of that?”

“Books,” Remus said simply. He glanced at the clock - they had been attempting to make the basket for hours, and it was almost nine o'clock, which was taking its toll on the boys. Peter had fallen asleep in a heap on the carpet long ago, and they all stepped around him as they put the kittens in the basket, gathered their nightclothes and went to bed.

Not long after they had gone to bed, James heard a shuffle and someone move across the floor. He pulled his curtains aside to see Sirius sitting beside the basket, nuzzling into two of the kittens’ fur. James swung his legs out of bed and padded over to the other boy. He picked up the kittens - Jet and Elara - and dragged the half asleep boy back to Sirius’ bed, where he fell asleep instantly. James slipped back into his own bed, but lay there for a few minutes before drifting back to sleep.

 

September was over quicker than anyone had anticipated. Soon, the cold weather began to set in, littering frost over the grounds. Students chose scarves and hats over just robes and cloaks, often staying inside any time besides Herbology. The boys, however, decided this was a perfect time for another prank. They spent evenings in the dorm panning, or the library researching. Soon enough, they had an idea planted in their minds, and were trying to work out just how they were meant to get the supplies.

“I could get my cousins to send me some,” James suggested.

“Nah, they check the post,” Sirius shook his head. “We could sneak into Hogsmeade.”

“How?” James asked. “There’s fences all the way ‘round, probably with a spell of some sort on them.”

They pondered for a moment, before Remus remembered something he had found the night before.

“There’s a secret passageway on the third floor,” he said pulling out a small piece of folded parchment. “Just behind the one-eyed witch statue. I don’t know where it goes, but I smelt chocolate.” He opened the parchment to reveal a map, covering a large amount of the castle. He pointed to where he had drawn a small X.

“And  _ why  _ did we not know this sooner?” Sirius demanded.

“Never came up,” Remus said distractedly, already heading out of the door.

He led them down to the third corridor, and around a corner.

 

They watched as Remus tapped the statue with his wand twice then muttered,

“ _ Dissendium _ .”

They all watched in amazement as the witch’s back lifted to reveal a deep hole, which seemed to go nowhere. Nobody really knew what to do when Remus lifted himself up and dropped into the hole.

“Come on then!”

Sirius was the first to follow, falling gracefully into a dark tunnel. He looked over just in time to see Peter fall hard on the dark soil. At least, it looked like soil to Sirius.

“Can you smell that?” Remus said, lifting his face a little.

“No,” Sirius said, giving Remus a strange look.

“This place is practically coated in chocolate, can’t you smell it?” Remus said, starting to walk further into the tunnel.

Sirius and Peter waited for James to drop down, and they had to jog to catch up with Remus. He was walking faster by the minute, and showed no signs of slowing.

As they ran further down the tunnel, Sirius had to admit he did smell something, but he couldn’t really tell what. Remus moved faster and faster, until they were all sprinting down into the darkness. Further and further until they hit a dead end - almost literally. Remus stopped just before he hit the solid wall in front of him, but in the dark the others didn’t see him in time and they all ended up in a pile on the floor. As fate may have it, that was how james spotted the small circular trapdoor in the ceiling. He pointed, then realising that the others couldn’t see what he was pointing at, as he happened to be on top of them. Well, all apart from Peter, who wasn’t in the best shape and was just jogging up behind. He didn’t even hesitate, before clambering on top of the other boys and lifting himself through halfway.

“Merlin’s pants, this is amazing!” he exclaimed, before looking back down at the pile of boys struggling to get up. He held out a hand to Sirius, who was the smallest of the three, pulling him up, and together they dragged Remus and James through the small hole.

“Oh. My. God.” Sirius’ jaw dropped. Around them was piles upon piles of chocolate and sweets.

“We’re in Honeydukes!” James shouted excitedly. A harmony of “shhhh!”s were heard.

“There’s got to be enough in here to last the whole seven years!” Sirius whispered.

“Guys, grab a few bits, but don’t go overboard,” Remus said, looking at Sirius with a “yes, I mean you” look. They set about stuffing their pockets with the sugary treats, until they could fit no more. They dropped through the trapdoor and made their way back to Hogwarts. As Remus turned to lower himself down, he saw James tucking a bag of golden coins behind another pile, and smiled to himself. That boy could do no wrong.

 

When they got back to the dorm, Remus took most of the chocolate and locked it in a small box he had found under his bed.

“For later,” he said, tucking back under.

They spent the evening eating chocolate and playing Exploding Snap - another wizard game James’ cousins had sent. Remus got the hang of it very quickly, and Sirius went to bed in a huff after Remus’ sixth win in a row. The rest soon followed, and Remus fell asleep just seconds after his head hit the pillow.

  
  


The kittens were growing fast, and were soon allowed out of the dormitory. Remus worried, as he usually did, but after a while he settled, resigning to believe that nothing was going to happen. September was quickly over, and the end of October was quickly approaching. The full moon had been at the beginning of the month, and Remus had barely a week of recovery and another of freedom, before the pre-moon exhaustion hit him again. James and Sirius had decided to throw a Halloween party in the common room, and, of course, Remus had been dragged into helping. Planning for Remus involved reading the books out loud to the others, who were distracted by the idea of a mass prank. After about an hour, Remus decided to go down to the library, to do some reading that was actually educational. When he reached the library, he sat down in a hidden corner that had become His Seat, but before he could even open his book a familiar redhead bounced over.

“Hi Remus!” Lily whispered. “Whatcha reading?”

“Romeo and Juliet,” he said, slightly more confident than the last time he had been asked.

“Cool,” Lily said, pulling out her own book and taking the seat next to him. They sat there for Merlin knows how long, until Madam Pince came to shoo them back to their common rooms.

 

On the day before Halloween, Remus was more fidgety than usual. He couldn’t help feeling something wasn’t right. Of course, it was just his wolf senses playing up, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling.

“You alright, mate?” James asked.

“Yea, just tired,” Remus said. James clearly didn’t believe him, and Remus was soon being dragged back to the dorm. Sirius and Peter stayed in the library, where they had been watching Remus study.

 

“Where did you go last month?” James asked once they were safely back in the dorm. Remus froze for a moment, before composing himself and answering,

“Hospital wing, I told you.”

“Rubbish. You weren’t there til the day after,” James said. At Remus’ confused face, he added, “I went to take you some jam tarts, from the kitchens.”

“I-” Remus almost felt sorry for James, knowing he was upset that one of his best friends was lying to him. “I can’t tell you. Maybe at some point, but not yet.”

James stepped away, releasing his death hold on Remus’ arm. He went to find Koda, and sat on his bed stroking the not-quite kitten. He looked puzzled, like he was trying to figure something out. But Remus didn’t stick around to carry on the conversation. Instead, he took Elara, Jet and Echo to find Peter and Sirius.

 

He found them sitting under a tree on the edge of the forest. They sat watching the cats chase after birds and squirrels, and Jet even chased after a few sticks.

“What did James want?” Peter asked.

“My transfiguration notes,” Remus lied. They sat in silence until Jet decided to try and eat Remus’ finger.

“Fuck!” he shouted, holding his finger in pain. “Little vampires, I’m telling you.” But the others didn’t move. They were sat almost frozen, mouths gaping.

“What?” Remus asked, confused.

“What did you just say?” James asked, the first to come to his senses.

“What, fuck?” And James froze again.

Remus started to laugh. “Have you never heard someone swear?”

“Well,” Sirius said. “Posh, rich families, it’s just not a thing they do.”

“Wow.” It was Remus’ turn to be stunned. “Well, you’ll have to get used to it. I swear like a sailor.”

“That’s a muggle saying, isn’t it?”

“Welcome back to Earth, Pete!” And they all burst out laughing.

Remus spent the next two hours teaching the three boys every curse word or phrase he could think of, with the help of a few library books. They even made a list. Of course, they started a competition - who can slip the most swear words into conversation.

 

“That’s cheating!”

“No it’s not!”

“Yes it is!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“NO!”

“Guys, calm down!” Remus pushed his hands over both James and Sirius’ mouths, silencing them. “James, that was cheating. Sirius, next time just hex him or something, I can’t be bothered to listen to you two fighting.”

The other boys sulked off to the dorm, while Remus sat back down in his favourite chair and continued reading. He almost didn’t hear the soft knocking through the portrait. Sighing, he got up, opened the door and peered through.

“Peter?” he pulled the smaller boy through the hole, setting him down in a sofa.

“What happened?”

“I got locked out,” Peter said, shivering a little. “James sent me to the kitchens about an hour ago, but I forgot the password.”

Remus was shocked. “How long have you been out there?!”

“About forty-five minutes.”

“Give me your arm.”

Peter held out his arm, and Remus wrote something with his quill. He took out his wand and muttered under his breath. Just as he had expected, the writing disappeared.

“What did that do?” Peter asked, confused. Remus him dragged over to a nearby second year.

“What does this say?” he asked, holding Peter’s arm to her.

“Err, there’s nothing there.”

Remus smiled. He turned back to Peter.

“That’s the password,” he said. “It’ll change every time the password does, and no one else can see it.”

Peter just stared, and Remus took that as a thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a /really/ bad ending I'm sorry, I've had really bad writers block and basically wanted to update as soon as possible. Next one I hope will be up soon, but I cant guarantee anything, what with school and stuff.  
> Canis x


	7. Dark Side of the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hospital Wing, Birthdays and Pencils

_ And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear _

_ You shout and no one seems to hear _

_ And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes _

_ I'll see you on the dark side of the moon _

 

Remus awoke in immense pain. He was curled up in the fetal position on the cold, hard floor of the shack. He could already hear footsteps coming up the stairs, so tried as hard as he could to get up, but he couldn’t. His arm was bent entirely the wrong way, and his leg had a gash the entire way down. The knock on the door went unanswered, besides a small grunt from the boy. Madam Pomfrey came in an started her usual routine of healing Remus’ wounds. He heard her muttering something about, “getting worse” and “when you’re older”. The gash, as expected, left a long white line, slightly wider than usual. His arm was fixed in an instant, but Madam Pomfrey put it in a sling and told him not to move it for a while. When she finished healing Remus, Madam Pomfrey helped him to his feet and led him out of the doorway.

The walk back to the castle was excruciating; Remus’ limbs were aching and searing pains shot through his legs. He didn’t tell Poppy - as she had instructed him to call her - as she would be fussing over him endlessly, and he was extremely irritable before and after the full. So he walked the entire way, gritting his teeth against the pain.

The hospital wing was entirely white, with a few glimpses of blue scrubs, or a green potion. There was a distinct smell of antiseptic in the air, which somewhat calmed Remus - it was a familiar smell from home, as his mother, Hope, was a nurse in a muggle hospital until she started training to be a sort of nurse/healer at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Remus breathed in the air, almost calm until he heard a crash the other side of his curtain. There was an admittedly weak silencing spell over his bed, which meant the noise had been extremely loud.

“Mr Black!” he heard Poppy yell. Oh no.

Remus dove under the covers just as a slightly disheveled Sirius and a pale-faced James slipped through the curtain. Peter, he assumed, was cowering behind, scared of what he might see. He felt two weights drop at the end of his bed, followed by a few lighter things.

“You alright mate?” he heard James say. He grunted in response.

“We brought you some of the Honeydukes stuff,” Sirius said, and Remus figured that Poppy had either left them or knew not to ask.

Remus was grateful, and slowly peeked out of his bed. He was entirely covered in chocolate and sweets. He tried to ignore the looks of shock on his friends’ faces.

“You went back? Without me?” he joked, which earned him a round of chuckles.

“Well, you’re not in the best state, so we thought we’d do you a favour.”

“What did you say is wrong with you?” Peter asked, peeking around the curtain.

“ Migraine,” Remus said. “Better now though.”

“What’s with the sling then?” Sirius asked, gesturing to his arm. Remus froze, until Poppy came to save him.

“Collapsed on the way here,” she said. She was carrying a suspicious looking potion and four glasses of milk. “Right in the doorway. Knocked the bone but it’ll be fine in a few days.” She handed the glasses to the four boys, saying, “Don’t eat too much, you’ll be sick.”

The boys talked and ate until Madam Pomfrey shooed them out, claiming Remus needed rest. He did, of course, but really he needed to drink his potions, which she realised would immediately give him away. When Remus was finally released, which a handful of potions for the night, he found his friends in the common room playing a game which looked like marbles, until one of the glass balls spat a foul-smelling liquid at Peter. He snuck past them and into the dorm, where he took out his book and enjoyed the silence.

The door shut so softly, Remus wasn’t even sure he had heard it, until quiet footsteps followed, trailing over to Sirius’ bed.

“Sirius?” he whispered into the darkness. The footsteps came closer, and his curtain was pulled aside.

“Can I come in?” Sirius asked. Remus’ reply was to shuffle over, giving Sirius some space, and lift the scarlet quilt. Sirius slipped in beside Remus and lay back against the headboard. They were silent for a few moments.

“Can I tell you something?” Sirius asked.

“Sure.”

“It’s my birthday today.”

Remus was taken aback. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Didn’t come up,” Sirius shrugged. “Never really did birthdays at home.”

Remus didn’t know what to say. This boy had never had a proper birthday?

He grinned. “Well you’re in for it tomorrow.” Sirius saw the smirk plastered on his face and groaned.

Hours later, when the others were asleep, Remus tiptoed out of the dorm and through the portrait. He had a day to plan.

\------------------

“Argh!”

“Wake up loser!”

Sirius opened his eyes slowly, blinded by the sun streaming through the window.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked the pile of boys on his bed.

Remus smiled. “It’s your birthday! Come on, breakfast time!”

They made their way down to the Great Hall, and everyone turned their way as they arrived fashionably late. A few people shouted things like “Happy Birthday!” and “You having a party?”. The hall was decorated entirely in Gryffindor banners and colours. The lions on the banners had been charmed to roar every time someone said Sirius’ name, which ended up being extremely often. The tables were filled with all of Sirius’ favourite food - jam tarts, sausage and eggs, and his absolute favourite - cheese omlettes. His face erupted into a grin as he started shovelling food into his mouth before it even hit his plate.

“Woah, slow down, you’re going to choke!” Remus said, taking the fork from his friend’s hand.

“‘m ‘ungry,” Sirius said, swallowing the last of a sausage and smiling, remembering their first days at Hogwarts.

“I can see that.” Remus handed the fork back. He mumbled something under his breath, and suddenly Sirius couldn’t move nearly as fast as he was before.

“Did you just hex me?!” he exclaimed, and Remus smirked in response. “Where the hell are you learning all of these?”

Remus just shrugged. “I read a lot. I’ve got loads more, want me to teach you some?”

Sirius nodded eagerly.

“Later then. We’ve got stuff to do.”

They skipped Potions, Herbology and part of Charms, sitting in the empty common room playing Wizard’s Chess. They played two games at once, James vs Sirius and Remus vs Peter. Peter seemed to be getting better, but Remus still won every time. When Peter gave up, they switched partners, and when James got fed up of losing to Remus they switched again. Sirius was a challenge. They ended up in a tie, which had to be settled once and for all.

“You’re letting me win!” Sirius said indignantly.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Remus said as he made a move that was sure to help Sirius win.

“Yes you are!” Sirius grabbed a cushion from the sofa and threw it at Remus’ head.

“Oh, you’re done for!”

The two boys pelted cushions at each other in a full-blown pillow fight, shortly joined by James and Peter. As they lay on the floor out of breath and giggling, Sirius whispered,

“I won.”

And they were off again.

After dinner, they headed outside to the courtyard. A blindfold covered Sirius' eyes, and the others led him out, sitting him on something which felt like one of the rocks which surrounded the area. He could feel his heart beating fast, both with anticipation and joy, to have people who would do something like this for him in his life.

The blindfold fell to the floor, and Sirius blinked in the light. When his eyes adjusted, he saw an array of balloons floating just above the ground. As he watched, they rose and settled in the sky.

** ‘Happy Birthday Sirius!’ **

Sirius felt like his heart would explode. All he could do was grin as his friends enveloped him in a warm hug.

“Good birthday?” James asked as they sat in the common room. They were exhausted from the events of the day, but none showed it as they talked.

“Definitely.” Sirius hadn't stopped smiling all day.

“Well there’s one more thing,” Remus said, standing up and leading the way outside again.

“What. The. Hell.”

Sparks glittered in the sky, circling and tracing over the Canis Major constellation, shining brightest over Sirius the Dog Star.

“Are you okay?” Remus asked, as Sirius dropped to the concrete floor. “Is it too much?”

Sirius tried to speak, but no sound came out so he just shook his head.

“What's up then?” Remus sat beside him, followed by James and Peter.

“I never had a proper birthday, then I get all of this at once,” Sirius said, a slight waver in his voice. It wasn't long before the tears came flooding out, and he let his head fall back onto the wall behind him. The others put their arms around him and watched the fireworks. Remus smiled. It had definitely been one of his better ideas.

\----------------------

Thursday morning brought rain, rain, and a little more rain. All outdoor classes were cancelled, meaning the corridors were a lot more crowded than normal. People everywhere, rushing around trying to get to classrooms and common rooms. Sirius looked around, but he saw nothing. Everything blurred together. His heart beat faster than he ever thought possible, and his throat constricted, which made him panic even more. The corridor looked as if he was looking through a fisheye lens. He barely felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, pooling on the ground he had at some point come nearer to. The floor spun, until a  hand took his, another rubbing his back. Slowly, everything came back into focus. A girl was sat beside him, one he didn’t recognise at first, but the red haired girl soon came into full focus, a small smile at her lips.

“Are you okay?” she asked. Sirius didn’t trust himself to speak, so nodded instead.

“Sirius!” Remus and James were bounding towards them. Sirius smiled seeing his friends’ concerned expressions.

“He’s fine now. Panic attack,” Lily said, then turned to Sirius. “Go back to your dorm and read or something. But only for charms. McGonagall will have a fit if you miss another lesson.”

“Thanks Lils,” Remus said as he helped Sirius to his feet. He took one arm and James the other, guiding Sirius to the dorm despite his protests.

“I’m fine!”

Remus just ignored him, as he had been for the past twenty minutes. He put his book down and reached for another.

“James!” Sirius whined. “Remus is being boring!” But James wasn’t listening either.

“Pete?” Nothing. “Ugh.” He got up and tried to leave, but  _ suddenly  _ everyone was there and alert.

“No you don’t!”

“Back to bed!”

“Guys! I’m fine!”

“Don’t care. Sleep.”

“Ugh.”

Two hours later, Sirius was finally released. They stayed in the dorm until Charms started, arriving a few minutes late and taking their usual seats at the back of the room. They learnt a strange kind of alphabet, which consisted entirely of squares, circles, line and dots. Sirius found this extremely boring, as did James and Peter, but Remus was intrigued by this whole new language only ten percent of the entire world knew about. He was frantically scribbling notes when a loud crash resounded in his ears. He didn’t even have to look up.

“What the hell did you do, Sirius?” he sighed.

“It was James!” Sirius shouted, sending his inkpot flying. Remus guessed that was what had happened the first time, judging from the growing black stain in the wooden floor.

“Mhm. Clean it up then.” Silence.

“I- I don’t know the spell,” Sirius mumbled. Remus chuckled.

“Well, that’s no excuse. Muggle way it is,” he shrugged, but froze as he saw the empty look in his friend’s eyes. Sirius stopped, then stood and ran from the room, barely hiding the tears starting to roll down his cheeks.

“That was my fault, wasn’t it?” Remus asked James, who nodded with a sad look in his eyes.

“Professor, should I go and check on him?” Remus asked.

“Yes Mr. Lupin, that might be best,” McGonagall nodded.

Remus found Sirius curled up under his bed. He was nestled between boxes, holding something that looked like a handkerchief.

“You okay?” Remus asked, but quickly followed with, “Well no, you’re not, but will you come out of there?” Sirius shook his head. “Well I’ll just sit here then. But I don’t really know what I did wrong, so you kind of need to tell me.” Remus sat to the side of the bed, far enough away that he could see Sirius’ face

Sirius was silent for a while, besides a few sniffles, before finally taking a deep breath.

“Mother used to make me clear stuff up the muggle way as a punishment. When I didn’t do it right, she-” his voice cracked a little, but he carried on. “She hit me. A lot.” And with that, he broke down crying again. Remus sat there until he calmed down, not quite knowing what to do. After another minute or two, Sirius crawled out from under the bed and sat beside Remus. Remus saw that what he was holding was not a handkerchief, but a small blanket. Sirius saw him looking and smiled a little.

“My cousin Andy - Andromeda - she got it for me when I was born. Mum tried to throw it out, but I think there was some sort of charm on it so I wouldn’t lose it.” He smiled a little more, remembering his favourite cousin. “She got really angry, kept trying to burn it and curse it, but Andy knew she would.”

“So you kept it because you knew it would annoy your mum?” Remus asked, slightly confused. 

“No, I kept it because it was the one thing I could never lose.”

Sirius shifted, so his head was resting half against Remus’ shoulder and half against the bedside table next to them. Remus let his head drop to the side, resting it on Sirius’. He hummed a little, a tune his mother used to sing, then sang quietly into the silence.

_ Nid wy'n gofyn bywyd moethus, _

_ Aur y byd na'i berlau mân: _

_ Gofyn wyf am galon hapus, _

_ Calon onest, calon lân. _

_ Calon lân yn llawn daioni, _

_ Tecach yw na'r lili dlos: _

_ Dim ond calon lân all ganu-  _

_ Canu'r dydd a chanu'r nos. _

“Was that Welsh?” Sirius asked.

“Yea, my mum’s Welsh. She sang that to me before I- when I was little.”

“Before you what?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Remus.”

Remus looked away. “I’ll tell you another time.”

“Alright,” Sirius said, dropping it finally. For about thirty seconds.

“Will you tell me tomorrow?”

Remus sighed. “You know what,” he said, reaching in the drawer beside him. He pulled out a small pencil. “Keep this for two weeks, and I’ll tell you.”

Sirius looked confused. “What is it?” Remus laughed; it hadn’t occurred to him that Sirius didn’t actually know what a pencil was.

“It’s a pencil. Like a quill, but you can use an eraser and get rid of what you’ve written, and you don’t have to keep dipping it into ink.” He chuckled at Sirius’ incredulous look.

“And- what as it doing in my drawer?”

“Must’ve been a muggleborn here before you. They’re really easy to lose.” But he hadn’t meant to say that last bit.

Sirius looked hurt. “So you’re setting me up to fail?”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to keep it.”

\-------

As soon he entered the dorm, James was fussing over Sirius, brushing off his comments about James being the ‘mother hen’. They sent Peter down to bring back some lunch, while the others began planning their next prank. Well, James and Remus did. Sirius escaped early on, telling the others he was going to beg Flitwick to give him an extension on the essay. Which was a plausible excuse - he was way behind on work, even with copying from Remus. But he wasn’t going to Flitwick - he wa going to the library. He was too proud to admit it to his friends, but he needed help keeping the pencil. Surely there was a spell?

“Mr. Black.” Madam Pince towered over Sirius. He looked up at her. She was the librarian, of course she would know where to find the answer.

Twenty minutes and several books later, they found a solution. It was a sticking charm, but not a permanent one like Remus had used for the cats’ basket. Madam Pince showed Sirius how to cast it, and the counter-charm, and he left happy, the pencil firmly stuck to his ankle. He didn’t tell the others - he was supposed to try to keep it, and it might count as cheating. He just prayed to Merlin the charm wouldn’t break.

“Ouch!” James held his foot in pain after the collision it had just had with Sirius’ leg. “You got a brick in there, mate?”

Sirius dropped his head, covering his face with his black hair, which hadn’t been properly cut since the beginning of the year and was now down to his jaw. Which was lucky, because it covered the small blush starting to spread across his cheeks. “No,” he said defiantly.

“Well that was not skin, so either your hiding something or half your leg is missing and your bone is exposed. Either way, I think you should tell me.”

Sirius took a deep breath and rolled up his trouser leg to reveal the pencil, which he had moved higher after it sticking into his skin one too many times.

“What’s that?” James asked.

“It’s a pencil,” Sirius said, then to James’ confused look, added, “a kind of muggle quill.”

“Okay… Why is it stuck to your leg?”

“Umm. Remus almost said something the other day, but he stopped and I think it was a big secret. He said if I could keep this for two weeks, he would tell me.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t tell him I told you. And don’t ever tell him I stuck it to my leg. You know I lose everything, and this is important.”

“Oh, yea, don’t worry mate. Won’t say a word.”

“Thanks. Herbology now, right? Let’s go, we’re gonna be late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs are:  
> Brain Damage by Pink Floyd  
> Calon Lan - A Welsh song by John Hughes.
> 
> Constructive feedback welcome!  
> Canis x


	8. Calon Lân

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets, Spells and Drawings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me! I've been really busy with exam revision and stuff, and I wanted to move all my notes and stuff for this to one place, which took a while. So to say sorry for taking a while, here is a 4000 word chapter. Enjoy!  
> Canis x

A week went by, and the pencil remained firmly attached to Sirius’ leg. Remus began to panic; it wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell his friends about his lycanthropy - or maybe it was. He wasn’t sure. But as the two week mark neared, his thoughts were full of scenarios. He wasn’t even sure what scared him more, his friends being scared of him, or them pitying him. On or the other was inevitable. He could barely concentrate on his studies.

“Remus!” James dragged Remus from his thoughts.

“Hm?”

“You alright?” James asked, brow furrowed.

“Yea. Yea I’m fine,” Remus shrugged.

James wasn’t convinced. “Mhm. Well, have you done the Charms essay?”

“Yes.”

“Can I-”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty ple-”

“No!”

 

Peter wasn’t the best at pranks. Well, not magical ones anyway. But he knew every muggle trick in the book, having a muggle mother, and frequently used it to his advantage. Remus, of course, had to join in - their oblivious “Prank Master” pureblood friends were just too good of a target.

“Hey, James, here,” Peter said, throwing James a can of Coca-Cola.

“The fuck’s this?” James asked, eyeing the can suspiciously.

“Muggle drink,” Remus said, reaching out to grab a can from the table. “You’ve got to shake it before you drink it, or it's basically water and powder.”

James, Remus thought, was way too trusting, as was Sirius, so as they shook the drinks within an inch of their lives, both Remus and Peter tried to hide their smiles. The cans were opened, and consequently exploded, splattering the walls and everyone in a five foot radius with fizzing coke. That is, except for Remus and Peter, as they had both perfected their umbrella charms the night before.

“Argh!”

“Yuck!”

“REMUS!”

“Hey, it was Peter too!”

“Aaahhh!”

They all jumped out of their seats, bolting for the portrait hole. Remus led them on a wild goose chase around the castle, while Peter was left floating around the common room after being hit with a levitation charm. Remus finally stopped when he was no longer being followed, only slightly out of breath - another bonus of lycanthropy. He retraced his steps to find James and Sirius, and met them at the top of a staircase, sweat beading their foreheads, faces red.

“How the bloody hell are you not out of breath?” Sirius said outraged.

“I did a lot of running at home,” Remus shrugged.

“Can you levitate me back?” James asked. “ I think my legs are broken.”

“And me,” Sirius said, just above a whisper. Remus laughed.

~*~

“Hey, Remus?”

Sirius padded over to Remus’ four-poster, silent in the dark night.

“Jesus, Sirius, you’re like a ghost. We should call you Padfoot.”

“Yea, sorry.” Remus shuffled over, making space for the other boy on the bed.

“What’s up?”

“You remember what you told me two weeks ago?”

Remus did. The pencil. Had it already been two weeks? “Did you lose it?”

Sirius shook his head. “It’s right here.” He held out his hand to show the same pencil he had been given. “Will you- I mean, you don’t have to, but-” He stopped, not sure how to phrase his question.

“I’ll- I’ll tell you,” Remus whispered. “It’s just, it’s kinda big. And I haven’t told anyone. And you have to promise me you won’t either.”

“If you don’t want me to, I won’t tell a soul.”

Remus took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Well you know I’ve been out twice already? Off school, I mean. In the hospital wing.”

“Remus, if you don’t want to say it, I have a pretty good idea of what you’re talking about.”

Remus’ eyes flew open. “No, you really don’t.”

“Can I- Can I say what I think, then you can tell me if I’m wrong?” Remus just nodded. “Are you- Are you a werewolf?”

A small weight lifted from Remus’ shoulders, but returned when he saw no reaction from Sirius.

“Mhm.”

“Wow.”

“You’re smarter than I give you credit for,” Remus turned away. “Are you okay with it? I mean, I can move dorms if you don’t want to-”

“Woah, Remus, calm down! You’re not going anywhere,” Sirius said, pulling Remus back. “I’m entirely fine with it, and I know James will be. Don’t really know about Peter, but if not, his loss really.”

All Remus could do was smile. “Will you tell James for me? I don’t really want to see his reaction to be honest.”

“Sure. Tomorrow?”

“Yea. But sleep now,” Remus said. When Sirius made to go back to his bed, Remus grabbed his wrist, but immediately recoiled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean- Stay. Please.” Sirius turned back and settled into the bed beside his friend. “Thank you.”

“Go to sleep, Rem.”

 

~*~

 

Remus was panicking. Again. Panicking that Sirius knew, that he had taken James aside to tell him, and terrified that James would think he was a monster. Those words went around his head.

_Monster_

_Monster_

_Monster_

He jumped as two arms draped across his shoulders.

“Don’t you dare say that again,” James said. Remus realised he had been voicing his thoughts, and a blush spread across his cheeks.

“Come on, did you really think we’d be scared of you?” Sirius laughed. “I mean, you fold your socks, for Merlin’s sake!” He poked Remus in the ribs, and Remus squirmed.

“Oh my God. Are you ticklish?” James asked, grinning at Sirius. They both attacked at once, poking and tickling Remus until tears rolled down his face. When they finally stopped they sat on the common room floor where they had fallen, and started to talk.

“I think we need a safe word,” James suggested. “Just in case.” The others nodded, but provided no suggestions. “Well you’re useful, aren’t you.” He rolled his eyes.

“Well I don’t know. Maybe a colour?” Remus suggested.

“What about ‘red’?” James said, earning him a groan.

“Is this that Lily thing again?” Remus asked.

“No!” James shouted, then quickly added, “No, it was just an idea.”

“Well if it’s the best we’ve got, then we’ll stick with that,” Remus shrugged.

They made their way to the dorm as Peter returned, carrying a pile of cakes and biscuits. Sirius filled him in, and smacked him over the head with a paper plate when Peter’s jaw dropped. They were all intrigued, and the questions were almost non stop, but Remus knew that he could stop answering if he wanted. But he didn’t want to. The enthusiastic questions made a change to the horrified looks he got the first few months, before he moved to the countryside. Remus zoned out a little as his friends ate in silence (besides the occasional belch). He started to hum, no particular tune at first but eventually he was singing the song he sang to Sirius, the night he gave him the pencil.

 _“Nid wy'n gofyn bywyd moethus,_  
_Aur y byd na'i berlau mân:_  
_Gofyn wyf am galon hapus,_  
_Calon onest, calon lân._  
  
_Calon lân yn llawn daioni,_  
_Tecach yw na'r lili dlos:_  
_Dim ond calon lân all ganu_  
_Canu'r dydd a chanu'r nos._  


_Pe dymunwn olud bydol,_  
_Hedyn buan ganddo sydd;_ _  
_ Golud calon lân, rinweddol”

“I didn’t know you knew Welsh!” James said excitedly. “Can you teach me?”

“I only know a little,” Remus said, blushing.

“Do you know what that song means though?” Peter asked. “Can you sing it in English?”

“Um, yea, sure.” Remus cleared his throat.

_“I don’t ask for a luxurious life,_

_The world’s gold or its fine pearls,_

_I ask for a happy heart,_

_An honest heart, a pure heart._

 

_A pure heart full of goodness_

_Is fairer than the pretty lily,_

_None but a pure heart can sing,_

_Sing in the day and sing in the night.”_

“Wow.”

Remus shrugged but turned to find his pjs, deciding to go to bed. He lay in his four-poster, thinking how lucky he was to have friends like that.

 

~*~

 

Sirius loved art. He loved to draw and doodle and sketch, but never when anyone is looking. He had the attention span of a toddler, so he never really liked galleries, but drawing was just something he loved. A little box Andromeda had given him sat in his trunk, full of little sketches. Trees, people, hands, heads, anything. He drew things he loved. There was another box in there, where he kept the drawings he never wanted to show anyone. Drawings of things he wanted no one to know he loved. His brother. His friends. There were a few more drawings of James and Remus than Peter, but one stood out. It was larger than the others, maybe eight inches of parchment. The colours were unreal, or too real, it wasn’t really clear. Three boys sat on a sofa in the common room. Two of the three were asleep, while Remus ate a particularly large chocolate bar. James sat curled up at one end, head resting on the armrest, and Peter mirrored him the other end. This was the drawing he wanted no one and everyone to see.

 

The box was only removed from its spot twice a month, when Sirius took the time to look through the old and add the new. When nobody was around, he would lay them out in front of him, making a collage of memories. He was just finishing laying out the sketches when the dorm door opened.

“Sirius, have you se- What are they?” James asked. He peered over and Sirius tried to hide a few, but not before James caught sight of the picture with the most colour. “Is that us?”

Sirius handed it over, letting his hair cover his reddening face.

“It’s just a sketch.”

“No. It’s not. This is fucking amazing!” He jogged over to his bed, taking out a drawing pin and using it to stick the picture to the back of the door. While James was distracted, Sirius cleared away the rest of the pictures.

“Will you do more?” James looked hopeful.

“Maybe.”

James took out another piece of parchment and wrote something, then stuck it beside the drawing.

‘ _Marauders_ by Sirius Black’

“Marauders?” Sirius asked, puzzled.

“Heard McG talking to Flitwick. I think it suits us.”

“Well if we have a group name, I think we need nicknames too,” said Remus, strolling through the door, almost hitting James as he pushed it open.

“Well you already gave me one,” Sirius said. To James’ confused look, he added, “Scared him shitless, creeping up on him, so I am now…” he paused for effect, “Padfoot!”

“Nice.”

“Rem, you need one too,” Sirius said, swinging an arm over his friend’s shoulder.

“Hmm.” James stroked his chin comically. “Werewolf, wolf, moon. Moon… Moony!”

“Wow, that was quick,” Sirius laughed. “What about you, James?”

“I think we need a monumental event, for inspiration.” They all nodded in agreement.

“Wait, guys?” James said, looking around. “Where’s Peter?”

 

“Peter!”

“Where have you been, young man?”

“We’ve been worried sick!”

“I brought food?”

The others eyed the food hungrily.

“We might be able to let you off this once…”

Peter was bombarded with questions of where he had been, to all of which he responded, “Detention.” Which, of course, was a lie, but the last secret Peter had kept had given them cats, so how bad could it be? Speaking of cats…

“Argh! Little vampires!” Jet had decided to jump on Sirius once again, digging his claws into Sirius’ t-shirt. “That’s new, you little bugger!”

Everyone laughed, until Koda decided to join him, then started to jump from head to head, clinging for dear life to each person’s hair.

“Get off!” James grabbed his cat and held it tight. “You need your claws cutting!”

“Oh, Flitwick told us the spell for that yesterday, if you were actually listening,” Remus said, and he muttered _Diffindo_ under his breath. The claws were suddenly a lot blunter, but not so much that it hurt the cats.

“You really are brilliant, Moony,” James said. It felt good to hear his new nickname. With claws freshly cut, it was a lot more pleasant to play with the cats. But, being a lot bigger than they had been, it was a lot more difficult. After a while, they shrugged the cats off their shoulders and shooed them away.

“So what should we do now?” Sirius asked. Remus could see he was trying not to fidget, and he couldn’t understand why. Most people fidget, why couldn’t he? But as usual his thoughts were interrupted by someone - James - grabbing his arm and dragging him up to the dorm. Remus didn’t even have time to wonder what they were doing before he was dropped next to a pile of parchment.

“We’re planning a prank!” Sirius said proudly, until his smile dropped. “But we couldn’t think of anything.”

“What use d’you think I’ll be?” Remus asked.

“A hell of a lot better than us,” James said, then added, “Wow, I’m getting better at this swearing thing!” Remus laughed and shook his head.

“So what have we got so far?” He asked.

Sirius pulled out another wad of parchment and started flicking through them. “We thought about exploding something, but we can’t get the explosives past Filch. Then we thought about flooding somewhere, but its just so much effort!” He whined.

“Then we thought about slipping someone a potion, but we couldn’t decide which one to use,” James added.

“What about polyjuice?” Remus suggested.

“What’s that?” Sirius asked.

“It’s a potion that turns you into someone else for a while. Really advanced, you don’t even learn it ‘til sixth year. Takes a month to brew too.” He saw the other boys’ faces light up.

“Where did you learn that?” James asked in awe.

“One of the books my dad gave me.”

He had thought it was a good idea at the time, but Remus regretted it as the other boys ran to his trunk, extracted the book and began looking through the ingredients.

“Lacewing flies, leeches, what the hell is boomslang skin? Where are we going to get all of this stuff?”

“Slughorn’s store cupboard, I assume.”

And they were off.

~*~

“Sirius, no! Only what we need!”

“But this stuff is awesome!”

“No!”

Sirius huffed but put whatever it was he had picked up back in its place. They continued to search for the ingredients, and soon all of them were running out of the store cupboard, out of the dungeons, through the portrait and into their dorm. They lay out the items on the floor, and decided to brew it in the bathroom, as nobody besides them really wanted to go anywhere near there.

 

They mainly left Sirius to deal with it, as he was the least disastrous, but there were still a few mess ups and explosions. After the fourth try, everything seemed to be going well, and all they had to do was leave it for a while, adding a few ingredients every few days. The waiting was the hardest - Sirius had no patience whatsoever, and James wasn’t much better. Peter wasn’t quite as into the prank as the others, and Remus was very patient. James and Sirius spent anywhere from five minutes to half an hour staring at the cauldron, as if it would be ready faster that way. Of course, it wasn’t, and they grew more impatient as the month went by.

“Is it done yet Moony?”

“I don’t know, I’m shit at potions. You know this.”  
But finally, _finally_ , it was finished. The potion was a kind of brown slop, and didn’t look at all appealing. Didn’t look like they’d be slipping it in anyone’s pumpkin juice either. Until Peter, in all his muggle genius, suggested they spread it where Hagrid grew pumpkins near his shed. None of them had really met Hagrid (or so they assumed), but they had seen him from a distance. He was huge, half giant the rumours said, and his scraggly hair and beard made him look slightly terrifying, but there was something else about him that made you trust him entirely.

 

“Hi Hagrid!” Remus called from the top of the steps leading down to Hagrid’s hut.

“Lupin! Wondered when y’d be back!” Hagrid boomed across the grounds. The others looked confused, but Remus didn’t see. He had been hidden in big, leather clad arms, and his head was barely visible in the bush of hair covering it.

“Hagrid helped me a while back,” he explained when he had finally been released. “With my… problem. He knows more about me than most of the Ministry put together.”

“See we’ve been geddin’ better with tha’ ‘monster’ stuff,” Hagrid smiled. The others knew how Remus saw himself, but they hadn’t know about Hagrid helping.

“Yea, well.” Remus’ face dropped a little, before he remembered why they were there. “Hey Hagrid, you think you could help us?” He looked around before continuing. “We want to bring some fun to breakfast. Won’t work til next year, but it’ll be worth it. Promise.” Boy, was Remus good at sounding innocent. It clearly worked, because Hagrid smiled even more and said,

“Do what ya need, but I don’ wanna know.”

The boys ran toward the pumpkin patch, and started spreading the potion across the soil.

“Guys!” Peter gasped. “We didn’t put the hair in!”

But Remus laughed. “I did, you just didn’t see.”

“Who?” Sirius asked.

“You’ll see.”

~*~

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Remus jumped, and his book fell to the floor. The sound had carried all the way to the common room from one of the dorms, and he knew exactly which one.

“Sirius.” He rolled his eyes. The book was abandoned as he went to investigate.

“James, help!”

“No.”

“Please?” Sirius was begging now. As funny as it was, Remus decided to intervene.

“What’s up?” He called into the bathroom.

“Spider!” Sirius shouted. “And James is being useless!”

“I don’t like spiders!” James protested. Remus laughed.

“Wimps,” he said to himself, then to Sirius, “Open the door then.”

Sirius was standing in the corner of the bathroom, only a towel covering him. He pointed to the opposite corner, where a decent-sized spider was weaving a web. Remus took his wand out of his back pocket and levitated the creature over to the dorm window, where he dropped it.

“Don’t know what you were complaining about,” he smirked.

“They’re terrifying!” Sirius almost shouted. “They have _eight legs_ and _way_ too many eyes. How is that natural?”

“You know you have a wand too? You could’ve done exactly what I did!”

“Yea, but no.” Sirius ran past Remus, grabbing the wand out of his hand, and James’ from his pocket when he reached the other boy. He threw them under the bed, along with his own, and sat on the bed next to James.

“I propose a game,” he smiled. “We all try to live for the rest of today, and tomorrow, without our wands. No exceptions. It’s the weekend so no classes, and don’t claim you have a study group Remus, you’re not going to any of them.”

The other two exchanged a glance, but ultimately agreed. Peter walked in a few minutes after, when Sirius had finally gotten dressed, and he opted out of the game but promised to hide the wands. Remus, strangely, did not regret the decision He felt confident, maybe bordering on cocky, but he was the one with most non-magical experiences, and was sure he’d win. Which reminded him.

“What does the winner get?” he asked.

“How about the other three- sorry Pete, two - have to be their servant for a day.”

“A week?” Remus persisted.

“Fine,” Sirius smiled. “You’d better get practising!” And he ran down to the common room.

“He’s not going to last an hour,” Peter smirked.

“Not a chance.”

 

Not using magic was a lot harder than both Sirius and James had perceived. They used it for everything, even things they could just as easily do by hand. Sirius was a little shorter than average and usually used magic to reach things, but he had to resort to _climbing_ up the shelves in the library to reach a book on wandless magic. He soon realised that it was way too advanced for him, and he might just have to deal with it, but that didn’t stop him trying to bribe Peter into giving his wand back.

“James! I’m bored!” Sirius whined.

“Well what do you usually do when you’re bored?” James huffed. He was staring again, at a certain red-haired girl.

“I levitate stuff!”

“Go and throw stuff at a wall then.” Sirius’ face lit up.

Twenty minutes later, the dorm was covered in an array of items - from books to pillows, socks to quills. Since none of them had wands and nobody could really be bothered to tidy up, they slept in a pile on the pillows and things, covered with the quilts too big to throw (because nobody wants a quill jabbing into their back at night).

 

Remus woke up late the next morning. He had rolled off the quilts and was laying on the floor, and his back made a satisfying pop as he stretched. James had already gone, most likely for a run as he had started doing every morning. Something about “getting ready for quidditch tryouts”. Sirius slept soundly at the far end, and Peter snored loudly to Remus’ left. He got up quietly and stepped into the bathroom and started his usual routine. You see, Remus wasn’t ashamed of his scars. But the horrified looks he got when he was younger just made him feel guilty, so he covered them up. At first he borrowed some of his mum’s concealer, but that was when there were only a few scars on his face. When he got a gash tracing from one side of his nose to the other jaw, his mum took him to buy some of his own. Barely anyone saw him without makeup now, and nobody at school ever had. His friends had seen him with _less,_ but not a lot less.

It took no longer than usual, as it was one of the few things he had always done by hand. As he dabbed the cream onto his face, he heard a noise outside. _James is back,_ he thought, then chuckled as he realised he could distinguish his friends’ footsteps. James burst through the door, but began to back out when he saw Remus. He stopped in the doorway.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

Remus was glad he had overdone it a little with the concealer, as he felt his cheeks flush. “I have scars,” he said simply.

“So?”

“I don’t want people seeing them.”

“But you’re fine with us seeing, right?”James looked a little upset, and Remus felt guilty.

“Well yea, but other people-”

James interrupted him. “It’s Saturday. No classes, we can stay in the common room or the dorm if you want, but no makeup. Deal?”

Remus nodded, and thought that he was agreeing to too many things for one weekend.

“Then take that off and come out here.”

 

After a few minutes the makeup was gone and the bathroom was clear. Remus made his way back to his bed, expecting to have to sneak past a sleeping Sirius and Peter, but to his surprise they were all up and sitting around the room. Sirius sat behind his bed, looking at something or other, and Peter was most likely winning at wizard’s chess against James. Remus decided he would leave the game alone, as it was likely to descend into a pillow fight, and went to see what Sirius was doing. Sirius recoiled as Remus leant over the bed.

“Whatcha doing?” Remus sang. Sirius tried to look innocent but said nothing. “Can I see?” Remus asked as he noticed something in Sirius’ hand. For some reason he didn’t register the array of charcoal scattered around Sirius, and was surprised when Sirius produced a drawing. It wasn’t like anything he’d ever seen. Or it was. It was just like the one he’d noticed on the back of the door, just… better. More accurate, or vibrant, he wasn’t sure, just that it was amazing. Three boys sitting on what looked like a sofa in the common room, one with messy black hair was lying (most likely asleep) along the entirety of the sofa, save a little at the end, while a blond boy on the floor levitated something in front of him. Another boy sat cross-legged at the opposite end, reading a book. It took Remus a moment to realise that it was them, and he was surprised how lifelike it really looked.

“How the bloody hell did you do this?” he asked incredulously.

“With.. pencils? I don’t know,” Sirius shrugged.

"Aren't pencils a bit too muggle for you?" Remus smiled.

"I bought some after you gave me that one. They're easier to draw with than charcoal."

“Can I put it in the common room? It’d look great.”

“I guess?” Remus had never seen Sirius so shy, in all of the three months they’d known each other.

“You sure?”

“Yea,” Sirius said, a little less reserved this time. “Yea, go put it up.”

“You’re not just trying to get me to go away?” Remus mocked.

“Nah, that’s just a bonus,” Sirius smiled.

“You hurt me right here,” Remus said, holding a hand over his heart. He got up and went down to the common room, where he pinned up the drawing above the fireplace. He knew Sirius would be nervous about what people thought, but Remus couldn’t wait to see the reaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Anyone know Welsh? I could do with a translator, or if anyone knows another language that isn't spoken much outside of the original country, I think Sirius should speak one of them, being a Black. If so, post a comment and I'll find some way to contact you that works.  
> Please tell me what you thought, if anything needs rewriting or doesn't line up please tell me!  
> Canis x


	9. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panicking, train and Eva

“Oh my god!”

“Wow.”

“Who did that?”

“That’s amazing!”

A group had formed around the fireplace, Gryffindors of all years. They were gaping at something the marauders couldn’t quite see, but Remus knew what it was and Sirius had a good idea. One girl - the name Olivia came to mind - jumped on a chair, holding up a square of parchment.

“Who drew this?” She shouted across the room. Sirius began to shake, and couldn’t bring himself to raise his hand. He sat down exactly where he was, which thankfully was beside a stool, and the world around him spun as it had in the corridor days before. The feeling was scarily familiar, but it didn’t last as long this time, as warm arms found him in seconds. He focused on the hand on his arm and it slowly brought him back. As the ringing in his ears stopped, he heard a voice in his ear, gentle and comforting.

“You’re okay, we’ve got you, it’s okay, you’re safe.” He realised it was Remus whispering to him and James’ hand stroking his arm, and he did feel safer. He tried to speak, but James silenced him before he could start.

“You’re not fine, don’t even try to say it.” Sirius stood up, leaning on James’ shoulder, and he saw Peter sitting to James’ side with a worried look on his face. His guess was that Peter didn’t really know how to help with panic attacks, so smiled to assure the boy he was okay.

They went back up to the dorm, except for Peter who went to the kitchens. Sirius leant on Remus, who took the smaller boy’s weight better than James, and they led him up the stairs. He was still a little shaken, but James assured him that they’d take care of him. They had returned his wand and that seemed to calm him, if only a little, and they decided that whether he had won or not, the others would be his servant. Well, Sirius decided.

“Servants! I require a drink!” A tall boy poked his arm through the curtain of his bed and poured some water from the jug into the cup on the table, then levitated it into Sirius’ waiting hands.

“That’s not how this works!” Sirius said, outraged. “You’re supposed to get up and get stuff!”

“Why get up when I have a wand?” Remus lay back to properly enjoy his book when something - or someone - fell across his legs.

“Moony!” Remus smiled at the nickname, but carried on trying to push the boy off his legs, which proved to be more difficult than it looked. “I’m bored! Entertain me, servant.”

“And what do you propose I do?” Remus had given up trying to get Sirius off him, but he had started to lose feeling in his leg.

“You’re the servant, you decide.”

“Go and annoy James.”

“No.”

“Peter?”

“No.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know!”

Then Remus had an idea. He rolled off the bed, leaving Sirius to fall to the floor, and took his trunk from under his bed. After a few minutes of rummaging he pulled out a polaroid camera.

“What’s that?” Sirius asked, confused.

“It’s a camera,” Remus said, handing it to Sirius. “Same as a wizard one, but the pictures don’t move. Go outside, take some pictures.” Sirius’ face lit up and he ran from the room. He was only gone for a few minutes before he walked sheepishly back to Remus.

“How does it work?”

 

Three hours later, when Sirius still hadn’t returned, Remus went to look for him. After a while he spotted someone sitting under a tree, and he knew immediately it was him. Something about the way he sat tall even when relaxed, and his hair that seemed to always be messily perfect. He jogged over and sat beside Sirius.

“You were out for a while,” he said simply.

“What? It’s only been about half an hour.”

Remus laughed in surprise. “Mate, you’ve been out for three hours!”

Sirius’ head snapped up. “What? Really? Wow, that went quick.” He lay back, closed his eyes and stretched his arms above his head. His t-shirt rode up his stomach. Remus held back a gasp.

“Sirius.”

“Hmm?”

“What’s that on your stomach?” This definitely had an affect. Sirius’ hands shot down to pull his shirt back over his stomach, and he started to walk away.

“Hey, no, please don’t go,” Remus said. He didn’t quite know where he got the courage to say that, even if Sirius was one of his best friends.

“They- I don’t like looking at it.”

“They?” Remus persisted.

“Not- not today. Another day.” Then Sirius had an idea. He grabbed Remus’ wrist and ran back to the dorm with him, where he rummaged around in his drawer. After a bit of searching he brought out a box of pencils. He took out two and handed them to Remus.

“Two pencils this time, but for longer. Rest of the year. You manage no to lose one, I’ll tell you half of it. Both, I’ll tell you all of it.”

“Rest of the year?!” Remus hesitated, then put the pencils in his pocket. “Okay.”

“Really, try not to lose them, they’re good quality.”

“I’ve got more if you-”

“No, use them. I want to tell you, honestly. It’s just a bit- difficult. If anything, the quality’s more reason to keep them safe.” And with that, he dropped down onto his bed, closed his eyes and fell asleep. After a few minutes, Remus went to his bed and did the same.

~*~

The next two days were particularly uneventful, apart from Sirius dropping something or other into a demo potion and caused it to explode. But it gave Remus enough time to think. _Two weeks._ He hadn’t even kept his secret for two weeks! And now two people knew! (He’d managed to persuade the others into not telling Peter, who had the biggest mouth in Gryffindor tower.)

“Come on, you’re not _thinking_ again, are you?” James joked. “Dear me, our Moony, we can’t have that, can we?”

“ _Dear me_?” Remus managed a smile. “How posh are you?”

“Yea yea, pureblood upbringing and all that.”

“And Our Moony?”

“You seem to be forgetting sometimes that you have us now, so I thought I’d remind you every once in a while.”

Sirius took that moment to burst through the doors, bright-eyed and beaming.

“GUYS!” He screamed, causing the others to cover their ears. “Quidditch tryouts!”

“Yea but we’re first years. No chance we’re getting in,” James shrugged, but his eyes were just as bright.

“I don’t care, we’re going. They’re after Christmas anyway.” Sirius sat down on the edge of Remus’ bed, then flopped back over the taller boy’s legs.

“Going home for Christmas?” James asked. He had already begun packing - well, emptying drawers.

“Nah, I’ve got to stay,” Remus said. “Easier for mum and dad.” The other boys dropped their heads a little, remembering that the full moon was on new years that month.

“I could stay if you want,” James suggested. “Mum’d be fine with it, and you’d have some company the day after.” Remus didn’t even hesitate.

“No. I’ve got Madam Pomfrey, I’ll be fine.” Then he remembered something. “You- none of you have actually seen me the morning after, have you?” After two ‘no’s, he continued.”It’s not pretty. You don’t want to see and I don’t want you to either. It’s better if you don’t.” His tone told them that he wasn’t backing down. They slid off his bed and trekked back to their own. James sat on his bed for a while, listening to the steady breeze flowing through the open window, thinking about the upcoming moon. Sirius lay on his stomach on the floor beside his bed drawing nothing in particular (it always helped to ground him when he was nervous). When he looked at the art he saw a huge full moon, with the silhouette of a young boy. Without thinking he knew who he’d drawn.

_Their Moony._

 

“What are these?” James asked. He was holding a few of the Polaroids Sirius had taken the day before.

"They're Polaroids, pictures," he replied. "Put them in a potion and they move, I think, but i might leave them as they are." Sirius looked back down at the drawing he had been attempting, and sighed.

"What's up, mate?" James asked, sitting on the floor beside Sirius and putting the Polaroids on the bedside table.

"I want to draw, but I can't," Sirius said dramatically. "I don't even know what to draw."

"What about these?" James asked, picking up a Polaroid of the Black Lake.

"I could..." Sirius began.

"Go on then!" James interrupted. "I'll go away then, but you'd better get started."

 

So he did. Half an hour later the outline was finished and Sirius had already began adding colour and other details. Two hours later he sat back and admired his work.

"James!" he called. Heavy footsteps told him James was on his way up, and had no doubt been sat at the bottom of the staircase the whole time. When he reached the top, he stood there speechless for a second. When he unfroze, he beamed.

"See, I told you it'd be great! Go put it with the other one," he said, but stopped when Sirius face froze. "Oh, maybe not then. I'll put it on the back of the door then?" But it was too late. Sirius was already starting to panic, shaking and hyperventilating, falling slowly top the floor.

"Oh Merlin, what did I do?" James said, then ran back down the stairs as fast as he could.

 

"What's got you in such a rush?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow at the black-haired boy.

"Evans!" James said, barely stopping. "Sirius. Panic. Go help please, I'm getting Remus!" Lily leapt to her feet and up the stairs, sitting beside Sirius and stroking his hand in the same way she had the first time, but it didn't have the same effect as it had. She was relieved when Remus threw the door open and took over, putting an arm around the smaller boy and stroking his back, whispering calming worlds into his ear. When Sirius stopped shaking, he didn't move at all. Instead he closed his eyes and focused on the sounds around him, the hand on his back, finally grounding him fully.

"Thanks, Moony," he whispered as loud as he could, and the taller boy smiled.

"Don't thank me. But don't thank James either. He could barely get a word out, good thing I know what he's talking about," Remus chuckled. "Thank Lily."

"Thank you Lily," Sirius exhaled. Lily stood up.

"Well I'd best get packing, and so had you from the looks of it." She looked around disapprovingly.

 

Packing is never a good idea last minute. Not even magic can pack two weeks' worth of clothes and books in less than fifteen minutes - that was how long they had before the train left. Sirius and James levitated their bags, struggling a little because of the weight of them, and sprinted to the train, jumping on just as it left. Remus waved to them from the gates, as he had to Lily and Peter, who had gotten himself on the right side of Lily Evans. He started to make his way back to the castle when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

 

"Hi, Remus!" A girl around same year as the Remus stood before him. She looked familiar, but he couldn't think where he knew her from.

"Um, hi?"

"It's Eva! Eva Ryan? We went to primary school together!" The girl was a little over excited, although if she went to primary school that most likely meant she was muggleborn.

"Eva!" Remus said, finally putting a name to the face and memory. "Where've you been? Thought I lost you!" He hugged the girl as tight as he could with his aching muscles.

Eva sighed. "Had to move to the country, had a problem with Holly." Remus remembered Holly. Such a bubbly little girl, he wondered what happened. Of course, his brain let go of this thought and it came tumbling out of his mouth.

"Oh, she's fine, don't worry," Eva said, then under her breath added, "mum does it enough for everyone."

 

They walked back to the castle together, chatting and remembering old stories.

"Remember when Anna Lane tried to backflip off that bench and cracked her head open?" Remus said, laughing.

"Ooh, when Fletcher in year six ran into the goal post and had to have surgery?"

"Served him right really, he was trying to make that happen to Max."

When they reached the tower, McGonagall was waiting for them.

"All students staying for the holidays must attend a meeting in the Great Hall at 6pm, in precisely," she checked the clock above her, "five minutes." Then she turned and walked into the Hall. Remus looked at Eva.

"What house are you in?" he asked.

"Gryffindor."

"Same. Let's go back, I need to grab a book if we have a meeting." Eva laughed.

"Same old Remus, always got your nose stuck in a book."

 

The meeting wasn't really a meeting at all. Professor Dumbledore stood at his seat instead of in front of the huge eagle stand, and, in summary, said not to go off alone, and that all rules still apply. A feast only about a quarter of the size of the usual one, despite there being around twenty students, appeared in front of them and they dug in, filling their stomachs with chicken legs, lamb chops, mash potato and later a huge helping of trifle each. They were so full that most of them decided to stay in the Great Hall afterwards, which made Remus very glad he brought his book. McGonagall transformed the benches and tables into pillows, cushions, blankets and even a few armchairs, which Remus and Eva quickly scrambled into. They sat talking for hours, until they were shooed into their common rooms. Eva updated Remus on anything that had happened in her life since they left, including how her pet bunny (aptly named Bunny) had escaped from his cage and "run off into the wilderness", in Eva's words.

"Where did you actually go?" Remus asked.

"Not far from Caerphilly," she said. "Mum didn't want to go too far, just into the countryside."

"We moved too, but a bit further than that. I think it was called Llagadog or something."

"That would be Llangadog. That's quite far," Eva mused.

"Is it?" Remus looked at the clock on the wall. "Merlin, it's almost eleven o'clock! I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow?"

"Definitely."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I've been busy with exam preparations for ages so I haven't had much time to write, and this one's pretty short. My exams are next week so hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently after that. Hope you enjoyed!  
> Canisx


	10. Chapter 10

Right, so I've decided that I'm not going to delete anything, just hopefully go on better than I believe it started.  
Thank you thank you thank you to anyone reading this, and I'm so so sorry I haven't updated anything. I promise I'll try to get a chapter at least every two weeks, I should be able to manage that. I'll also delete the previous a/n and this one after a while so it doesn't interrupt the inexistent flow of the story.  
Again thank you thank you thank you for reading I really appreciate it!


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